Stainmaster

I’ve been told that I’m a pretty fashionable dresser. It might be because my mom was a seamstress/tailor and my dad used to dress like the guys on Mad Men. Or that I used to work at McInerney, the predecessor to all the high-fashion stores at Ala Moana. I don’t try to do that, it’s just my style.

The problem with having that kind of reputation means you always have to look presentable. And absolutely your clothes must be clean. That’s where I have a challenge every day that I drive to work. The reason being that one of my other habits is I must have a cup of Starbucks coffee on my way to my office. Nothing fancy, just a nice hot cup of Americano.

Now, I don’t know if I’m the only one who has this problem, but I find that the cups, despite having a lid, will leak. Not always, but only when I’m wearing a white or light-colored shirt. I’ve actually analyzed this – the lip of the cup has a seam, and although the lid is on tight, whenever I wear a white shirt, the sipping hole on the lid is aligned with that seam.

So, as I tip the cup toward my mouth, the coffee travels up the seam and under the outside lip of the lid. Then, regardless of how careful I am, the coffee drips on the front of my shirt. Why only on days I wear a white shirt I haven’t got a clue. I’m probably being punished by the haute couture gods for drinking coffee while driving.

My solution to this so far is to ask for a napkin when I buy my coffee. I will then open up the napkin and tuck it into my collar so it acts as a bib. That way, if the coffee drips, no harm to my white shirt. Of course, this ruins my whole reputation as a fashion plate, for if you glance at me while I’m driving, I look like I’m about to eat a plate of spaghetti or a whole Maine lobster.