Phone IQ

Lately my wife has been having trouble with her cell phone. For whatever reason, it didn’t fully charge. I took it in and had the battery checked, but the charger jack in the phone was broken and the phone was out of warranty. It was due for an upgrade, but I wouldn’t decide on a phone for my wife.

I didn’t want to make the mistake of assuming what phone model she wanted. I’ve been burned before, so this time she was going with me to pick out her own new cell phone.

Now, I didn’t plan this, but the person who ended up helping us was an attractive college girl. I think part of the sales tactic is to flirt with the male customer; something my wife wasn’t buying into. I know better than that, but unfortunately I’m a stupid man.

Before we went into the store, my wife mapped out exactly what she wanted: nothing fancy, no touch screen, just a phone with which she can text and has a camera. So the salesgirl was calling out phone types to see what she wanted. The trouble started when she asked if my wife wanted a Smartphone.

I decided to answer for her and said, “No, she doesn’t need a Smartphone.” Right about then I felt the right side of my face burning and turned to my wife, also on my right, to see she was glaring at me with laser eyes. She said, “What, I’m not smart enough for a Smartphone? Do you want to get me a Dumbphone?” I started back-pedaling so fast I could’ve won the Tour de France.

Eventually my wife got a really nice phone. The salesgirl then turned to me and asked if I needed a new phone. I said yes, one of those phones whose name starts with an “i.” She asked, “You mean an iPhone?” I said, “No, more like an iDiot phone.”

Ron’s WEBSITE of the week

Times Supermarkets, Kraft Foods in Hawaii and the NFL are giving one lucky keiki between the ages of 9 and 14 the chance to be the “2011 Pro Bowl Tee Kid.” The tee kid will have the honor of participating in the kickoff by running onto the field and retrieving the kicking tee at the 2011 Pro Bowl Sunday, Jan. 30, at Aloha Stadium. Go to:

KraftHawaii.com