Wing Nut

I’m proud to announce that the other week our 22-year-old son graduated magna cum laude from the University of San Francisco. He also received the top award for his major and was accepted to study this summer in Nepal in preparation for graduate school. Oh, and he’s invited to stay with the Dalai Lama’s brother in Dharamsala. Yes, that Dalai Lama.

Of course, all this hoopla required my wife, our 14-year-old daughter and me to fly up there to attend this momentous occasion. It’s been about four years since we’ve flown anywhere off the island, so we were a little rusty on the new travel and airport security protocols. Naturally, I had heard about the new TSA procedures and body scanners, but soon found out I wasn’t ready to experience it.

There were no meals being offered on our flight, so we stocked up on snacks before heading to the airport. I had a secret stash of salted nuts in my jacket but decided to open the package and munch on a few along the way.

When we hit the security line I took off my shoes and jacket in order to put them through the X-ray machine. I transferred the nuts from my jacket into my pants pocket.

I didn’t realize that I put the bag in upside down so that all the nuts spilled into my pocket. As luck would have it, I was selected to go through the full body scanner. When you get in there, you’re required to completely empty all your pockets. I complied by removing my wallet, pen and money clip, then discovered that I had a pocket full of nuts. Clearly, I was holding up the process as I tried to remove all the nuts.

The TSA agent asked what the hold up was and I blurted out, “I’m trying to grab these nuts out of my pocket!”

The agent laughed and joked, “You don’t have to hold them unless we do a strip search.” It was nice to see he had a sense of humor.

Ah, the joys of flying!