Dog Gone It

Anyone who knows me knows I am all about proper hygiene. I’m not a fanatic nor am I OCD, but like most people, I simply like things to be clean.

That’s how my family knows I really love our dog Buddy.

I’ll let him lick my face and I won’t hesitate to clean up after his “accidents.” To my family, that’s nothing short of a miracle.

The other night I was reading a book I had just picked up. Just like when I watch TV, I decided to have a snack while doing that. Peanut rice cracker balls, “arare,” was my snack of choice, and I was eating it like popcorn while seated next to my wife, who was watching a bit of television.

I bit down on one and out came the filling from one of my wisdom teeth.

I held it between my thumb and forefinger and looked at it under the light. It was a pretty decent chunk of gold.

I suddenly started thinking how much that would be worth if I took it to Secured Gold Buyers. I envisioned them paying me enough cash that I could buy a chainsaw I wanted from Sears.

Seriously, I want a chainsaw.

Anyway, I put the filling down on a side table and went to rinse my mouth. When I returned, it was gone.

My wife was oblivious to all this as she was watching some reality show about wedding dresses or something. I asked her if she saw the filling I had placed on the table. She exclaimed, “You lost a filling? No, I didn’t see, but Buddy jumped up there and snatched something.”

I looked all around on the floor, then checked his mouth. My wife said that he probably swallowed it.

Understanding what that meant, I had a problem with wanting to retrieve it later.

First of all, no way was that filling going back into my mouth.

Second, I can live without a chainsaw.