Kimo’s Vegas

Ryan Lochte. Photo from Kimo Akane

WELCOME TO Kimo’s Vegas … the Player’s Edge!

MAKE IT RAIN … Ryan Lochte celebrated his 28th birthday and attempted to get some post-Olympic downtime in Las Vegas recently. All was well until he ran into Harry, the Prince of Wales, at XS, who at 3 a.m. suggested a U.S. vs. England one-on-one in the Wynn’s pool. Reports suggest that it was a friendly and not too serious match that was easily won by the American gold medalist.

TMZ REPORTED Prince Harry also lost a game of strip pool — the kind with balls, not water — and had photos of his highness in his birthday suit, showing off his crown jewels. He might have gotten away with it if he was playing poker. The prince could have just claimed he had “the nuts” … the strongest playing hand.

RIGHT AFTER the 2012 Games were pau in London, the Mandalay Bay hosted the 2012 Las Vegas Housekeeping Olympics. Events included bed-making and mopand vacuum-racing. Congrats to the Wynn and Encore team, which brought home the noble medal.

EVEN IF YOUR koto (sword) is a kokuho (national treasure) that was forged by the shin-sakuto samurai, it’s not a good idea to walk around a Las Vegas parking lot with a drawn katana. Especially if it’s the DQ in Vegas, where the workers felt threatened enough to shoot the sword-wielding numbskull.

NOW THAT’S A LOTTA tips … two Las Vegas men have pleaded guilty to a $7 million tip-concealing scheme.

THE GOLDEN NUGGET in Atlantic City lost more than $1.5 million as the pit bosses, managers and surveillance teams watched the players’ every move. Their bets grew from $10 to $5,000, leading the staff to believe they were observing a heretofore undocumented cheating scheme. After the game, hotel security detained some players and denied them access to food, water and representation. Time eventually revealed the culprit was the casino’s own greed. In their never-ending effort to separate us from our cash and to maximize the number of hands per hour, many casinos now purchase their cards pre-shuffled. The house rule for any game of chance is to make the game random and use the law of large trials to grind the house edge from players. The card manufacturer admitted that the cards were in the original unshuffled state even though they were marked and certified as such. Now the question before the courts is: Does the casino still owe the players their winnings since the game was not random?