Balloon Animal

In one of the top all-time guy movies, Enter the Dragon, martial arts expert Bruce Lee demonstrated the “art of fighting without fighting.” In my life, I’ll take that one step further as I seem to practice the “art of fighting without actually fighting anyone.”

Home security is of great concern to everyone when you hear about all the burglaries that take place. Of course dealing with these culprits is best left to HPD, but sometimes you’re forced to take matters into your own hands.

The other night we had gone out for a few hours, and while we have an extensive home security system, I found that the entry door was unlocked. I decided to be cautious and assume that someone might have broke into our house.

I told my family to wait outside and that I was going to investigate. As I entered the dark house, I saw that nothing seemed out of place. Just as I was about to give the “all clear” signal, something caught my eye.

Behind our living room sofa, I spotted something moving. I called out, “All right, you, come out from behind the couch.” It kept moving but would not heed my demands. I dropped into a fighting stance and leaped over the couch, pouncing on the unwelcome perpetrator.

It turns out that the suspected burglar was our 3-year-old daughter’s half-deflated Powerpuff Girls mylar helium balloon. It was bobbing behind the couch before I heroically decimated it.

I was relieved to know that the sanctity of our home was still intact. That and the fact that if I’m ever attacked by a balloon, I know I can “take ’em.”

Running this classic column from October 2000 gives me the opportunity to pass on a message from our friends at HECO. This graduation season, hold on tight to those metallic balloons. Just one stray metallic balloon can get tangled in electric lines and create a power outage, so remember to always add a heavy weight to the end of the string or ribbon.