Breakfast Of Champions

I have to say that perhaps my most-favorite meal of the day is breakfast. Maybe because it is a meal that celebrates that I’m still alive another day or the fact that I’m hungry, since my last meal was at least 12 hours before I arose from sleep. Everything I’ve seen and read lately says breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and I wholeheartedly agree.

At this time I would like to ask my doctors and my fitness trainers to stop reading this column. That’s because I want to confess that what I’ve eaten for breakfast over the years are the top 10 things not to put in your body to avoid coronary artery blockage. I’m talking leftover cold pizza or fried chicken or enough bacon to assemble a small pig.

My absolute-favorite breakfast meal, however, is the local staple of Portuguese sausage, eggs and rice. And I’m talking white rice and eggs with the yolks in them. Definitely not tofu sausage, egg whites and brown rice — what’s the point of that except to extend your life? OK, that’s sarcastic and is why I decided to change course in my breakfast-eating habit.

Seems like everyone these days is serving acai bowls for breakfast. I guess the antioxidant powers of that berry make a strong argument for consuming them. And it’s convenient for me to eat at my desk in the morning.

So the other morning I bought one, but in a cup instead of a bowl. I had to answer a few emails, so it sat on my desk for a while before I had the chance to start in on it. No one told me that it would melt and become a liquid. I tried eating it with a spoon, but it was like trying to eat cold soup. So I put the cup up to my mouth so I could drink the acai treat.

There was a bunch of pesky fruit blocking the liquid, so I tilted the cup toward my mouth and tapped the bottom of the cup. That’s when all of its contents came spilling on to my face, down my cheeks and onto my shirt. I threw the cup into the trash can and when I looked up saw that someone was standing in my door.

I looked like an infant who just spit up a mouthful of Gerber beets. The person immediately broke eye contact to avoid an awkward moment. That’s what I get for eating healthy.