Breath Of Fresh Air

It seems to me that the older I get, the more I want to eat things that I ate as a kid. Like when I go to the movies, I want to eat Snowcaps or Milk Duds. Or I find myself going more and more to the crack seed store where I can get lemon peel or rock salt plum from a jar.

The other day while at work, I was truly craving red cuttlefish legs. During lunch I ran out and bought a small bag. It was thoroughly tasty and I was completely oblivious to the smell.

In case you don’t know, that stuff smells like three-day-old fish, probably worse.

Just as I polished off half the bag, I got a phone call from one of our sales executives. It was the last minute and she needed me to show up at a sales call so I could talk about our publications.

As I hung up, I had no time to waste if I was going to be on time.

As I headed for the door, I put out a call to our staff if anyone had some gum or breath mints. I just about gave up when one of our young ladies opened her little tin case of Altoids and offered me one. I scooped up a handful, thanked her and took off.

On my way, I slammed the handful of breath mints into my mouth. What I didn’t know was that these were ginger-flavored, and in that quantity it was like a mouthful of jalapeños.

My mouth was on fire and I had nowhere to spit these things out. All I could think of was getting a drink of water.

My speakerphone suddenly went off and I was told I didn’t have to make the meeting.

I pulled off at a little strip mall and ran into a Chinese fast-food restaurant. I asked for a cup of water and realized my breath now smelled like a giant ground up ginger root. The two Asian guys behind the counter looked at me and then one of them enthusiastically offered up some Tic Tacs.