Flaking Out

Having both my mother and my mother-in-law living with us may kill me. If both of them ask me to do something at the same time, who takes precedence? My mother, who gave birth to me, or the woman who gave birth to my wife?

You might think that’s an easy answer, but in practice, I’d rather decide which of my hands I want to cut off.

The other day my mom asked me to run to the drugstore and pick up some of those diabetes test strips. She had run out and needed to check her blood sugar right away.

As I headed out the door, my wife called me into her mom’s room. Because of medications her mom is taking, it has caused her skin to become really dry and start flaking in a big way. My wife was changing her bedding and asked me to take the sheet outside and shake the flakes off.

I figured it would only take a minute so I grabbed the crumpled sheet and went to the front yard. I grabbed the corners of the sheet and snapped it up into the air. As my luck would have it, the wind shifted and blew all the dry skin particles all over me. I looked like I was covered in flour.

Grossed out, I went back into the house and wanted to take an immediate shower. Just then my mom popped her head out and asked if I’d gone to the drugstore yet. I figured to explain what was happening was too much work so I dusted myself off as best as I could and headed to the pharmacy.

As I picked up the test strips, I noticed the clerk whispering to the pharmacist. The pharmacist came over to me and in a low tone said, “We have medicated shampoos over on aisle six.”

Ron’s WEBSITE of the week

Laurie Rubin asked us to check out the Ohana Arts site. Their organization provides Hawaii communities with professional and educational performing and visual arts programs: www.ohanasummerarts.org