In Sickness And Health

My wife is one of those women who says she never gets sick. I think it’s because she has so much to do on daily basis: “I don’t have time to get sick.” Well, poor thing, it finally happened. She came down with that really bad cold that’s going around.

I’m pretty sure she caught it from our 13-year-old daughter. Besides my wife, nearly everyone in our household and some visiting relatives came down with a fever and a constant hacking cough. For whatever reason, it was a miracle that I didn’t get sick.

In fact, when at home my only job the entire time was to avoid catching this cold. That means all the defenses go up. I go through hand sanitizer like Red Bull Vodkas. My kisses good-bye to my wife and daughter become air-kisses, and I moved my toothbrush into a different bathroom.

It’s not easy, as there are crumpled, used tissues all over the place. I practically have to negotiate my own home in a hazmat suit. I did a pretty good job avoiding “germs” – that is, until bedtime.

I’m not going to complain about my wife’s coughing, as she’s put up with my snoring for years. But the other night it got so bad she woke up at 3 a.m. and put a cough drop in her mouth. She didn’t want to fall asleep with it, so she took it out and placed it on the night table next to me, sans wrapper.

In the morning as I reached over to switch off my alarm, my hand went right on the sticky cough drop. Still groggy, I picked it and transferred it to my other hand, now exclaiming, “What the …?” I now had germs all over my hands and even though only five seconds transpired, I started to feel sick.

My wife, never one to miss an opportunity, drowned out my complaining by bellowing “R-ic-o-l-a!”

Ron’s WEBSITE of the week

Bob DiLallo of Absolute-Hawaii sent in their site, specifically the illustrated history of Hawaii as seen through the plate lunch:

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