Of Mice And Men

So the other morning I was going to blend myself a protein shake for breakfast. One of the ingredients I throw in is a banana. I went to grab one from the bunch in a bowl on our kitchen table. That’s when I noticed that one of the bananas looked as though something had gnawed on it. It couldn’t be our dog Buddy, as he couldn’t reach it. The only conclusion was my worst fear: We had a mouse in the house.

That’s the last thing my wife wants to hear, as both she and our daughter have a great fear of rodents. And you just get that sick feeling of things being dirty despite the fact that we keep an immaculate house.

I’m not afraid of rodents, but I don’t like the idea of their tails and beady eyes being anywhere near me. I immediately went out to the grocery store and bought a couple of those sticky traps. If you’ve never seen one, it’s a flat tray with a thick glue-like substance coating the surface. It’s pre-baited, so it lures the rodent onto the trap, and it gets stuck to the adhesive.

Since rodents are nocturnal, I waited until that night to set the traps. After an hour, my wife awoke to the sound of scratching and rattling coming from the kitchen. Something was caught on the trap. She wanted nothing to do with it and sent me and Buddy.

I flipped on the kitchen light and, sure enough, there was a rather large mouse stuck on the trap. Its tail was flailing in the air and was probably the sound my wife was hearing. The tail kept whipping back and forth, as the mouse struggled to get free. It was pretty gross, but I had to pick up the trap in order to dispose of it. I gingerly picked up the trap by its corner to avoid touching the filthy rodent.

Just then, something touched the back of my leg. I jumped, flipping the trap up into the air.

That’s when I realized it was Buddy’s nose touching my leg, but my reflex was to catch the falling trap between my hands in a clapping motion. I caught the trap, but now the palm of my hand enveloped the mouse and was now stuck to the trap. The mouse’s tail was wriggling between my fingers and I was swearing like a Tarantino movie character.

My wife walked in, screamed and ran back into the bedroom. I eventually got my hand free. We no longer have the intruder in our house … but now I can’t stand the sight of bananas.