Mystery Vacation

The other week our 15-year-old daughter was on spring break. My wife, who works at a school, also was on break. That being the case, I decided to take a week of vacation. Of course, when you’re in the newspaper business, you’re really on-call 24/7. And with the technology we have today, your smartphone is literally your remote office.

Having been in this business for nearly 29 years, I’m used to it. Besides, we had no plans to travel or do anything significant, just hang out together and be a family. While it turned out to be a great week, I certainly didn’t spend all my time with my girls. There was work to be done around the house, and it was time I did some of it.

My wife keeps our home immaculate, which is amazing, as she works long hours at her job, and she is a devoted mother to our daughter. I decided I would do something unorthodox. That would be cleaning out the kitchen drawers and cabinets. It was the equivalent of exploring an island in the Bermuda Triangle – mysteries galore.

The first order of business was to organize our kitchen junk drawer. Everyone has one, as it’s where you keep stuff like tape, scissors, batteries, takeout menus, etc. The thing is, I know we keep that stuff in there, but when I need it, it’s nowhere to be found! That goes for Scotch tape, scissors and Krazy Glue. I know they’re in there, but when I need it, it’s gone.

And as for batteries, there’s only one AAA battery and one of those 9 volt deals. Everyone in the world knows that a TV remote uses two AAA batteries. So those backup sources of power are useless. I then moved to the utensil drawer. Can anyone tell me why all the aluminum tong servers are held closed with twist-ties, rubber bands or hair scrunchies?

I regret that I ended by organizing the plastic food container cabinet. It’s a mix-match of old Tupperware, Glad disposable food containers and the newest thing, QVC Lock & Locks. I got scolded because I attempted to throw out a bunch of Zippy’s plastic takeout containers. Unbeknownst to me, they have become our “best Tupperware.”

By the finish of that task, my mind was fried. My brain ended up needing a vacation.