Olympic Meddle

I know that watching the Olympics is kind of a big deal for nearly everyone. In the Nagasawa household, we hold our own Olympics of sorts, and I am a gold medal contender.

You see, at my house there is only one high-definition television, and it is our largest flat-screen TV, which is 42 inches.

My wife, our 15-year-old daughter, my mom and I each have our own Olympic events we want to watch. So in the evening when we are all at home, there is a race to see who can snag the HDTV to watch their event, recorded or live.

I’ve actually been in training for a while now, for my competition is fierce for different reasons.

During the off-season, I like watching MMA matches or the SPEED channel.

My wife watches QVC or HGTV.

Our daughter, against our better judgement, views Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

And my mom likes anything on the Nippon Golden Network, especially if sumo is on.

So I will always negotiate the inside lane for the living room recliner and have devised a move I call the “Nagasawa snatch” for the TV remote.

Our daughter is rapidly advancing toward my gold medal, for as a silver medal finalist she has perfected some moves where, if I go to the bathroom, she will overtake my chair and do a wrist twist to snag the remote.

My wife, although a solid bronze medalist, will call us into the kitchen for dinner then surreptitiously change the TV to QVC.

But my mom will come from behind and execute a Japanese overtake move, commandeering the living room based on “respect your elders” guilt and the fact that she gave birth to me.

I’m checking with the Olympic judging committee on that one.