The Scent Of Fear

Man, I can’t wait for our son to come home from college. That’s because being the only man in a house full of women is starting to cause me some problems. Being that I’m outnumbered, I’ve been getting into some precarious situations.

For years now, I’ve used absolutely the same products in the shower. My shampoo is Suave because it’s cheap and I can buy it at the grocery store. My soap is either Zest or Irish Spring, depending what’s on sale, again at the grocery store.

With the big influx of the female gender at our house, the bathrooms are inundated with skin-care and hair products that could fill a self-storage warehouse. I just leave that stuff alone and go about my business with my no-frills shampoo and soap.

The other morning I was taking a shower and had just rinsed out the shampoo from my hair. I reached for my trusty soap and discovered there was none in my shower. It was getting late, so I decided to use a body wash that belonged to either my wife or my daughter.

It was Tahitian Gardenia body wash. Since men have no sense of smell whatsoever, I had no idea what I smelled like. On the way to work, I stopped at a convenience store to buy a bottle of water. There were three young women there, two behind the register and one stocking the counter next to me.

One of the women behind the register commented to the woman next to me, “Wow, girl, you smell like you’re going to see your boyfriend tonight!” The woman responded, “But I’m not wearing any perfume.” The three of them fell silent and looked at me with their manicured eyebrows raised.

Thinking quickly, I raised my arm and like an ape, scratched my armpit. That threw them off the bizarre suspicion, and I sensed that they let out a collective mental, “Nah!”

Ron’s WEBSITE of the week

Boy Scout Aric Leong of Troop 707 is attending the 100th Anniversary National Scout Jamboree in Virginia this summer with a group of Oahu and Kaua’i Scouts. He’ll be reporting his experience as an honorary MidWeek reporter.

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