Wet Blanket

The other evening, as my wife and I headed for bed, she paused and asked me where Buddy’s blanket was.

First of all, with the hot and humid weather we’ve been having, like, forever, the word blanket doesn’t exist in my vocabulary.

I asked, “What?” She replied, “What did you do with Buddy’s blanket?”

This is in line with other incidents that have happened over Buddy’s “things.” For instance, when we brought Buddy home as a puppy, we bought him a little plush dog bed to put next to ours. I was not going to have the dog in bed with us, but now it has been more than three years since we got him and, in all honesty, he has been in our bed every single night since.

Anyway, I was going to toss or give away Buddy’s little bed, which he doesn’t fit in anyway, but my wife threw a fit. She is sentimental that way, as I believe we have every outfit ever worn by our two kids since they were babies. That includes Halloween costumes she’s made and all their Christmas photo outfits.

I tried to reason with her that Buddy never uses his bed and that it just collects dust.

She said that she doesn’t care, and for me to put Buddy’s bed back where it belongs.

Since then, I think she’s been monitoring me on the chance that I might get rid of something else of his. God forbid if I threw away one of his chew toys or old leashes.

Back to the blanket — I confessed to her that I didn’t even know he had a blanket.

I explained that dogs didn’t need blankets as they’ve lived without them since the breed inhabited the earth.

She said, “No, he has his favorite blanket and he needs it in case it gets cold.”

I then remembered folding up one of our kid’s baby blankets and wondered why it was out on the bed. Suddenly, it all made sense and I brought it out from the closet, where I had put it.

I asked if she was happy now and she replied, “All good.”

Then she said, “By the way, your daughter and I saw a really cute Halloween costume for Buddy.”

I held my tongue as I didn’t want to be spending the next night in the dog house.