Page 8 - MidWeek Kauai - March 8, 2023

8 KAUA‘I MIDWEEK MARCH 8, 2023
Tony Toto and his wife, Frances of Al- lentown, Pennsylva- nia, are celebrating 57 years of marriage, WFMZ-TV re- ported in a feel-good Valen- tine’s Day story.
Couple Still Together Despite Love-hate Story
“We have been blessed that we had all these years,” Tony said, noting “that one time when we had a rough time.”
What A Pill!
Tony was referencing the year 1983, when Frances hired teenaged hitmen five times to kill Tony.
People who suffer from chronic constipation now have a high-tech treatment option: a vibrating pill that stimulates the colon, CNN reported. The Vibrant cap- sule, prescribed by a doc- tor, is taken at bedtime and reaches the large intestine about 14 hours later. Vibra- tions cause the gut to con- tract, moving food along. Eventually, the capsule is eliminated and makes its way to a sewage treatment plant, where it’s sifted out and sent to a landfill.
One neighbor said it was as loud as if someone had “cranked the volume all the way up” on the TV inside their home. Gas station em- ployees refused to comment.
“I don’t think I was think- ing straight,” said Frances. “It was like it was a love- hate kind of a thing.”
Rub A Dub Dub, A Burglar And A Tub
ILLUSTRATION BY MARK GALACGAC
After being treated for his own injuries from the cat, Gaddis was charged with re- sisting arrest and assaulting an officer.
Cookie Harassment
Of course, the murder at- tempts weren’t successful, and Frances and the young hitmen were arrested. She spent four years in prison, but their love never wa- vered. A feature film called I Love You to Death was made about their troubles, and they became minor ce- lebrities, traveling to movie premieres and giving inter- views. Tony and Frances got counseling and committed to better communication, and decades later, have a long marriage to show for their efforts.
er returned to her house to find him in her bathroom, filling the tub with water. KOMO-TV reported that when police arrived, they discovered a smashed win- dow and the burglar inside, “clothed but very wet, and the bathtub was full of wa- ter,” reports said.
he approached the dance critic from the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung news- paper, Wiebke Huester, and smeared animal feces on her face.
Police in Santa Cruz, Cal- ifornia, are warning locals not to “engage” with the Cookie Monster, KION-TV reported on Feb. 15.
In other Weird happen- ings:
On Further Review
He didn’t get very far; when police stopped him, he “walked toward (them) with his hands up.”
In the Germantown neighborhood of Philadel- phia, one gas station is em- ploying a dramatic tactic to try to keep people experi- encing homelessness away: blasting opera music over its outdoor speakers.
Bath Break-in
On Feb. 11, during an intermission at the Han- nover State Opera House in Hannover, Germany, bal- let director Marco Goecke shocked even himself when
“This clearly wasn’t spur- of-the-moment offending,” Beale said. “You don’t just happen to learn about a trail-
Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to weirdnew- stips@amuniversal.com.
An unnamed 27-year-old man was arrested on Jan. 27 in Seattle after a homeown-
The opera house suspend- ed and banned him from the
WPVI-TV reported that neighbors aren’t fans.
The intruder would not provide a motive for his strange break-in and was charged with residential burglary.
“A minority could feel it. None of them felt it was be- ing uncomfortable,” he said.
The Associated Press re- ported that Goecke was un- happy with a recent review of a production he staged in The Hague. Following the incident, he took off through the crowded the- ater lobby. But strangely, Goecke seemed to justify his actions in a later in- terview, saying that after having his work “soiled for years ... Once a certain point has been reached, I disagree.”
In what prosecutor Owen Beale called an “organized criminal matter,” Joby Pool, 32, pleaded guilty to theft and criminal damage in Kid- derminster, England, magis- trates court, The Guardian reported. His crime? Pool broke into a warehouse on Feb. 11 and towed away a trailer with about 200,000 Cadbury Creme Eggs, val- ued at about $37,000.
Dr. Eamonn Quigley of Houston Methodist Hospi- tal helped test the new tech- nology. He said most people couldn’t feel it working.
facility until further notice.
Unleash The Cat
er with that kind of value be- ing available.”
“I heard all this music, I couldn’t tell where it was coming from. Loud, it was unbelievable that time of night,” said Clinton Barnes, who lives close by.
Christopher Gaddis, 41, was holding a cat in his arms when he was approached by Metro Nashville Police offi- cers on Feb. 8, WSMV-TV reported. Gaddis had two outstanding warrants, and officers were trying to ar- rest him when he shoved the cat into the face of one of them, leaving several cuts on the officer’s hands. Gaddis also kicked the of- ficer.
The “Easter bunny,” as police dubbed him, will be sentenced in March to about two years in jail.
“I don’t think it’s a de- terrent,” said Karen Clark. “They have to find some- thing else.”
Not So Egg-cellent
A man named Adam San- dler (not the actor), known to dress up as Sesame Street characters and harass peo- ple, has surfaced in Santa Cruz. Resident Sarah Jones said he entices people “to want to take a photo with him,” but as soon as they ap- proach, he flips up his cos- tume head and starts yelling.
Loud And Proud
“Based on how dirty his costume was, I knew it wasn’t going in the right di- rection,” she said. Sandler has not been charged with any crimes.