Page 7 - MidWeek Kauai - June 7, 2023

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Bedtime Worries
PATERNITY WARD
6/4/23
D. L. Stewart
82 Did too much heavy lifting?
JUNE 7, 2023 KAUA‘I MIDWEEK 7 ©2023 Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
ANSWER TO TODAY’S PUZZLE
A ccording to a recent survey, 27.3% of Americans suffer from anxiety. The only expla- nation for that number is that the other 72.7% don’t have
quiring little thought. Wash my face, brush my teeth, take off my clothes and hit the pillow.
nosa, which is also commonly found on cockroaches.
internet access.
Because, if nothing else, the
But that was before I saw an internet article on Well+Good that said I should never wash my face first, because tooth- paste could accumulate on the skin around my mouth, aggra- vating rosacea and acne.
And before I hit the pillow, I worry about how long it’s been since it was washed. Accord- ing to a study on Lifestyle A2Z, one month without washing a pillow could generate upward of 10 million bacterial units per square inch.
internet keeps us from becom- ing complacent.
6/4/23
Mass media always has been a reliable purveyor of worri- some news, of course; before the internet, the major reasons for concern were delivered by commercials on the three tele- vision networks. They urged us to worry about dandruff, halito- sis, underarm odor and wheth- er Mr. Whipple was squeezing our toilet paper.
After I wash my face, I have to worry about the tow- el I use to dry it. According to Real Simple, if it hasn’t been washed in the past two days, it probably is packed with yeast, mold and E. coli.
On the other hand, with all 10 million of them — plus the rosacea, acne, yeast, mold, E. coli, dermatophytoses and pseudomonas aeruginosa — I’d be lucky if there was room for me in the bed anyway.
Today, we can summon up previously unimaginable con- cerns with a few finger taps, so now I can’t even get ready for bed without worrying.
If I survive brushing and washing, I still have to worry about the dangers of undress- ing, the internet warns. Shirt, pants and shoes can come off, but what about socks?
One piece of good news I found on the internet was a study mentioned by the BBC reporting that wearing socks to bed increased participants’ ability to achieve an orgasm by 30%.
For most of my life, getting ready for bed was a routine re-
According to HuffPost, socks worn all day can cause dermatophytoses because they’ re lousy with bacteria called pseudomonas aerugi-
So tonight I guess I’ll just brush my teeth, wash my face, put on clean socks and hope for the best.
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