Montana What?

I don’t know about you, but I love to eat beef jerky. The problem with that, besides it getting stuck between your teeth, is that it’s pretty darn expensive. I can’t for the life of me figure out why dried meat costs so much. It’s probably what cavemen ate, and I can’t imagine them paying more than a few rocks.

I have found that one of the best places to buy jerky for a reasonable amount is Longs Drugs, especially the “off” brands. One day I was at Longs and purchased one of those brands on sale for a few dollars. Seriously, it was called “Montana Banana Peppered Beef Jerky.”

I wasn’t expecting it to taste very good, but when I got home, I found that it was the best-tasting beef jerky I ever had. I went back the next day to stock up while it was on sale, but they were sold out. I decided to try a different Longs in the hope it would have some.

The next day after work I went to a nearby Longs. I searched high and low but could not find my desired brand of beef jerky. I found a friendly clerk and asked her to help me. I said, “I’m looking for Montana Banana Peppered Beef Jerky.” She replied, “Hanna Montana what?”

I clarified, “No, Montana Banana.” She tried to confirm, “Anna Banana?” Before I knew it, we practically sang the entire first line of the name song, “Anna, Anna Bobanna, Banana Fanna Mobanna …” I thanked her and then swore off beef jerky for the rest of my life.

Ron’s WEBSITE of the week

MidWeek columnist alumni and SMART magazine publishers Molly Watanabe and Sarah Honda have decided to resurrect the SMART brand with a new venture called SMART deals. It’s a group-shopping site that will provide exclusive deals to subscribers: smartdealshawaii.com