Page 9 - MidWeek Kauai - Nov 9, 2022

NOVEMBER 9, 2022 KAUA‘I MIDWEEK 9
D avid Alan Taylor, 41, of Pensacola, Flori- da, did not follow the guidelines for safe tackling recommended by the various youth, college and profession- al football organizations when he charged onto the practice field on Sept. 20, donned a helmet, got into a football stance and charged his target, burying his helmet in said tar- get’s chest before grabbing him by the arms and pushing
Daddy Dons Helmet, Tackles Gridiron Tyke
In other Weird reports:
For Gloria’s Sake
Oct. 15, an event that features a pumpkin patch, hayrides, live music, kids’ games and more.
Safe But Stinky
The Fairfield Sun Times reported that Ollie the black Labrador was safe and sound, but very stinky, after spending a few hours in the sewer be- hind his owners’ home in Hol- bury, Hampshire, England, on Oct. 18. The dog was missing when his owners returned to the house after a brief outing, and it was discovered that he had fallen through a manhole in the backyard into the sewer about 3 meters below. Neigh- bors were asked not to flush their toilets during the rescue operation.
Send items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to weirdnew- stips@amuniversal.com.
Keith Tyssen of Sheffield, England, has maintained a striking topiary he calls “Glo- ria” in his front garden since 2000 — the bush depicts a woman lying back in a reclin- ing position with her knees bent.
The Bell County Fire Mar- shall’s Office is seeking infor- mation about an attendee who, according to witnesses report- ing on social media, flicked a cigarette butt in the grassy parking lot, which, combined with the gusty winds and dry conditions that had already prompted the county to issue a burn ban, most likely started the blaze.
him to the ground.
But it wasn’t Taylor’s form
But, MSN reported, Tyssen has a problem with random “drunken louts” entering his yard, usually during the night, and becoming intimate with the shrub. For one thing, he said, the noise wakes him up. But more disturbing, their acts have damaged Gloria’s figure.
that got him in trouble; it was the fact that his victim was 9 years old.
“I have to say that is the most exciting and expensive pumpkin patch we’ ve been to,” one attendee posted on Facebook after the disaster claimed their family van.
The Pensacola News Jour- nal reported that shortly be- fore demonstrating his rusty football skills, Taylor had become enraged upon seeing his son being overpowered by the victim during a one-on- one tackling drill. The tack- led youth was not seriously hurt, and Taylor was booked to the Escambia County jail on a first-degree felony count of aggravated child abuse and a misdemeanor count of disor- derly conduct.
Now Tyssen is begging his community to leave Glo- ria alone; one Twitter user suggested he grow a thorny vine through her to deter the assaults.
Stop Messin’With Gloria
ILLUSTRATION BY MARK GALACGAC
Creating that
“place of peace
and balance”
in your garden
(808) 828-6400
Burning Pumpkins
Things got a little heated — which is to say 73 vehicles were utterly consumed by rag- ing flames — at the annual fall festival at the Robinson Fam- ily Farm in Temple, Texas, on
www.gardenpondskauai.com
In Kilauea, next to Mini Golf • Open Wed-Sun • 12 to 5 pm
Lee’sFine Furniture And Accessories
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Phone: 808.245.6369
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