Page 2 - MidWeek Kauai - March 8, 2023

2 KAUA‘I MIDWEEK MARCH 8, 2023
A Size Does Matter
lege game. I was nervous, He approached my win-
s a man, I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I have a habit that in the minds of most people applies to some women. Ladies and gentlemen,
excited, anxious. Worse, I was 18 and at the wheel of a new Pontiac GTO. With its 6.5-liter V-8 engine and four-barrel carb, it was ful- ly capable of making up the time lost from lingering over Thanksgiving dinner.
dow, looked at me intently, spoke softly.
that habit is I keep a wardrobe of “fat” clothes and “skinny” clothes. I believe weight management experts would tell you to get rid of your fat clothes so that you’re not tempted to go back on your weight loss.
For miles, limestone bluffs guarded one side of the road and stared across the muddy Mississippi. The empty, concrete ribbon beckoned irresistibly. With sweaty palms and butterflies raging inside, I checked the clock, scanned the road, glanced in the rearview mir- ror. It was now or never. I jammed the accelerator.
Thanks to an officer’s stern yet soft- spoken request, the author has been driving safely for decades.
“I hope you hear what I have to say. I don’t know how fast you were going. Never got a real reading. But I know” — his voice caught for a moment before he con- tinued — “and you should know, I spent my entire Thanksgiving Day pulling out from a car a young man who had been speeding. I’ m going to give you a warning. But I hope you never speed like this again.”
I have not driven like that again, have covered over 3 million miles, and have not had a single major accident. Thank you, officer.
Don Thomas is the fa- ther of three adult kids and maintains a very active life- style, with running, cycling and skiing at the forefront. With his wife, Kay, he sells resort real estate in the Rocky Mountains of Colo- rado.
Chasing The Light is pro- duced by Lynne Johnson and Robin Stephens Rohr.
Long time friends of mine remember the days when I could have tried out for team sumo. In fact, I’ve tried scrubbing my Google searches but to no avail, I will have reminders until the end of time.
liquified. At over 135 mph, I very soon made up the miles, then deliberately slowed, pulling off a nor- mal arrival at campus. I had made it. Then, flashing lights.
Luckily, I have managed to get my body down to a rea- sonable size and weight after some serious health scares. In fact, like all things I do, I occasionally went overboard and got almost as thin as one of the boys in the Korean group BTS, which explains the skinny clothes.
In a flash, I saw the sit- uation from the officer’s side and knew what I must decide. His humble request has powered my driving ever since. Today, at age 72,
Cue the pandemic and for two years I went from BTS clothes to anything that said, “XL-relaxed fit.” Yes, the big clothes I held onto was like holding on to maternity wear for a woman planning on having a second child.
The Pontiac pow- er-surged, and the road
He stepped to my car. Sickening waves of guilt swept through me. From exhilaration to regret, all
As we joyfully emerge from lockdowns and head into in-person social events, there was something I had not considered. Recently, my wife and I were invited to a grand wedding and reception. The couple had held off until they could do it in-person so it was with great anticipation that it was finally happening.
Then, I noticed something below the RSVP line. The event was “black tie!” Normally, this wouldn’t be a prob- lem as I own a couple of tuxedos that I’ve purchased on sale or from off-season clearance racks. But these tuxes were purchased in my BTS days and filed in the skinny section of my closet.
It was too late to lose the needed inches and probably not enough time to rent a tux. So, I did the same thing men do when trying on their old high school sports jerseys and squeezed into it.
I was able to put the largest tux on and could button the pants if I held my breath. Using a cummerbund, I was able to mask the pants waist and could undo the button. I managed to pull on the jacket, but it was a far cry from looking like 007. What did I look like? Let’s just say that if I was floating in the sky, I would get shot down!
Not So Fast!
C“One new perception ... can change your life forever.” — Robert Holden
oach would not un- on a dime. He was going to derstand my being letmehaveit.IknewIde- late for my first col- served it. But I had it wrong.
with Don Thomas
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RATING: BRONZE
When we received our invitation, we were quite happy for them and their families. The parents of the bride are great friends of ours and they were going all out for their daughter. The venue was a great indication of this and we knew this would be the wedding of the year.
rnagasawa@midweek.com